LAWS SIR ISAAC NEWTON FORGOT...

LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.
LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the next morning you will have a flat tyre.
BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to your boss that a machine won't work, it will!
LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.