JoE'S JOURNAL EPISODE 8

Hey Peeps,

My anticipated return has finally dawned upon thee my loyal readers and faithfull subjects. Where have I been lost since my last post on 9/11 you ask? Well simply between the stresses and strains of fasting and ever increasing work life I just couldn’t find myself the time to write these mindless ramblings.

Anyways this post comes after what I call the best weekend in my life ever. What about this past weekend is so great that I dubbed it my best ever? Well my country won the world cup rugby dominating the tournament and cleaning up at the awards ceremony thereafter. Furthermore, the Formula One season has come to a close with my favourite driver the finnish iceman, Kimi Raikkonen unexpectedly taking the championship after Lewis Hamilton looked poised to take it at the beginning of the race. I also managed to spend my days with the people that matter in my life.

So all in all that makes a pretty damn good weekend if I may say so!

Take care,
Yusuf

JoE'S JOURNAL EPISODE 7

Hey Peeps,

Its that time of the year again when we all get glued to our tellies to see who becomes the next south african idol. Not that the final result means much to us its more the people involved, namely the judges that get us involved!

My personal favourite is Randal... that dude can make me rip… so what I’ve done is compiled my top 5 Randal quotes given to his victims…

1. “I want you to go home, and drop a brick on your toe and you’ll know how that was for me”

2. “I think you should tie that scarf around your neck a little tighter and keep pulling”

3. “Hey this is no episode of Gummi Bears… her voice is weak and feeble”

4. “You sound like a hyena that’s been hit by a steamroller… whack… that’s impact!”

5. “I’ve seen overnight dishwater with more sparkle”

Another more interesting revelation on the Idols front is the pop sensation known to us as the famous (or is it infamous?) Cliff Jennings. This singer/ songwriter is pure genius. He comes for an audition with his own cameraman and totally stuns the judges with his wonderful rendition of “I wanna love you” which he wrote himself! Check out his story at you tube http://www.youtube.com/user/cliffjennings. This week saw him return to the Cape Town auditions where he once again shone in all his greatness and splendor. From your biggest fan, Cliff Jennings you are the man!

Watch this space,
Yusuf

DAY AT THE ALLEY...

Take a look at the bowling scorecard... freaky shit... how is that possible??!

JoE's JOURNAL EPISODE 6

Hey Peeps,

So this is what happened during the past weeks…

My friend went over to the United States for work (from his feedback it seems like everything but work), I had a surprisingly good time at the beachfront over the Durban Beach Festival weekend (Met a lot of peeps I haven’t seen in ages there!); I even played 2 games of soccer in a row during the week (Who would’ve guessed!) and watched Transformers (Megan’s Hottttt… I know!) somewhere in all the craziness lol! So all in all not too shabby if I may say so myself.

I then followed that up with another crazy working week (when will the madness end???) followed up by an even more fab weekend. It basically went down a little something like this…

Friday Night:
After soccer my friend comes up with this crazy idea that it would be fun to go to the Harry Potter book launch. Since I’ve never actually witnessed one of these crazy events let alone a book launch, I decided to go; it is my motto to try things at least once after all. It’s really amazing how people could get so excited about a book being launched at one in the morning when they know the only thing they going to do after they purchase it is go home and sleep… but anyways who am I to say anything. All I knew was I was hungry and there’s always food in a mall!!!

Saturday:
Saturday was a wicked cool day. I went with the gang to see Spurs play Chiefs at the ABSA Stadium. The difference in the 2 teams basically was the ‘culture’ football played by our boys who thought that doing tricks counted more than scoring goals. I did have a blast though.

Then followed that up with my very first ice skating experience outside of the big screen. For those of you who haven’t skated before let me warn you… Its not as easy as it looks!!! And yes I did fall like on my 2nd step… really embarrassing moment which took me forever to get over… lets just say I never fell again!

I then went over to a friends place and basically watched movies, chilled and smoked hooka till I felt sleepy upon which I made my departure to the land of the dead.

Sunday:
I was woken up prematurely on Sunday morning which made me feel quite hung over and really, really miserable… it had only been 3 hours since Saturday night and my face told the story. I went and saw my friend play soccer against the Sundowns junior squad… man we got some rich upcoming talent… I witnessed some great intelligent football by these youngsters.
Then I ended up having an extended lunch which became supper turned into midnight snack… no comment… lol!

I also ended up watchin the simpsons movie during this past weekend… for those of you unfortunate souls who haven’t seen it I suggest you do the next available chance you get… my sides are still hurting from all the laughter.

So there it was… the boring old reason why I haven’t been blogging much of late. (I can’t believe you actually read this…. I can’t believe I even wrote this!)

Till my next post or even longer journal this is Yusuf saying adios amigos :)

The QuiZzy...

1. I love procrastinating - Who Doesn't?
2. I hate mornings - y does slpin hav2 end :(
3. I am crazy about Avril!!!
4. I love the smell of just washed hair, freshly baked goodies, petrol, food... eish dis cud take a while
5. I enjoy watching sports - typical guy i suppose
6. Formula One means the world to me - cos da world is one gr8 race
7. I can't live without my cellphone - seriously i use it 2breathe!
8. I stand for justice and equality - actually free food!
9. I believe i can fly - jus had2 sing :)
10. When I open my eyes in the morning i think to myself 'jus 5 mor mins'
12. My most valued possession is prob my media collection - i knw... im such a geek
13. I wanted to be a graphic designer/architect/computer fundi - i did miss my calling
14. My one wish is to be happy and content
15. I am easily convinced - i can b a real blonde sumtyms!
16. I fear my own abilites - long story... but i hav my moments
17. I cry when the occasion calls 4it
18. I live for the moment - and regret it l8a ;)
19. I know alotta people and even mor useless information abt dem!
20. I care about oda ppls feelins - and usually get hurt in da process
21. Don't ever ask me to swim... i just wont... i cant!
22. I'd risk my life for the ones i love - unless it invloves me swimmin :P
23. If I could I'd be a spartan in the dark ages - something like 300!
24. Life is a highway, i wana ride it all nite long! - i did it again... i knw... hehe :)
25. I know for sure that i am dat gud... jus ask me mum :)
26. Friends and family should never b ignored and always reminded how much dey mean 2u
27. I'll never do sumtin unless i want to :P
28. To love is to accept witout question
29. Give and receive in abundance n da world will b a beta place
30. Power is nt havin everytin but knwin dat u can!
31. My dreams r still wayy outta my reach and therefore priceless - 4everytin else ders mastercard
32. Money is very scarce atm - its da middle f friggin july n im awredy broke!
33. Struggles are only difficult cos we let it happen dat way - mayB nxt tym a lil plannin mite help!
34. Risks are there to be taken... jus add sum guts n balls n ur gud 2go!
35. The future is the nxt second... make it count!
36. I look forward to a hot shower afta a game of soka - i 4get abt all da aches n pains n da injuries seem worth it lol!
37. My greatest achievement is my Lego Ferrari F1 i created from ordinary blocks da day b4 my matric math exam! - sad but tru
38. I don't believe in miracles, jus hard work
39. You can't always be right but wots da ballpark 4it... 60, 80%
40. I am Yusuf Desai, the one, the only, el classico baby!

JoE'S JOURNAL EPISODE 5

Hey Peeps,

It's been quite a while since my last post... regrettably the biggest problem is my blog along with facebook have both been added to the banned list at work!
So basically I’ve been quite scarce on both. No need to worry as I’m still working out a solution to the problem seeing as I am the one who got the sites banned lol!

Ok so I have a few issues to bitch and moan about... Firstly has anybody seen or heard the new Enrique song? I still think the bugger whines but this time it’s bordering on rip your ears off!!! Please tell me this is not just my feeling!

Secondly for those of you in the working world, don't you find it so irritating when your manager has it in for you and makes your life a living hell and then pretends like everything’s hunky dory? For those of you who are in the same boat as me I truly understand how you feel and I wouldn't wish it on my own worst enemy (nice song by the way).

As for my soccer team, we need a defence and since I’ve been relegated to that target in the goal called a goalie my defensive skills can’t be put to good use which basically means I get hit in the head and elsewhere a lot!!! So all those who know how to clear a ball please apply because there’s only so much swearing these monkeys can take!

And lastly, my car, my baby, my lil' jalopy... ma wheels! Well she decided to fail on me during the most important week in any durbanites year! So now I reliant on other people... a very big EISH indeed!

So what have I been up to since my last journal?

Well I attended my friends wedding which was really cool but that came at a price. While I was busy at the wedding, the rest of my crew were busy having a ball on the kyalami circuit!!! I know I saw the pictures! Thanks for rubbing it in guys.

I followed up that with another classic Yusuf moment. For those uninformed peeps out there, there was a Durban film festival during the past 2 weeks; anyways the movie that I saw was River Queen which wasn't a bad movie, I actually had a great time watching it. The silly thing though was that when I get home the curiosity of having seen that title somewhere led me to search through my stuffs upon which I come across a certain DVD titled "River Queen" I know… to quote myself… “You Idjit!” So you may laugh at me but these things happen to all of us ok... so STOP!... really I mean it... seriously you can STOP right now... ok STOP IT!... please?

Since then I haven’t seen any other movies… yes I’m dying to see the new Fantastic Four and Shrek but I guess it’ll have to wait… I’m holding strong!!!

This weekend was interesting, I broke my duck of not attending these Islamic fairs (or whatever they call them) and I was promptly reminded why exactly I don’t attend these ‘things’. I subsequently ended up going twice which was pain intensified! We will leave that at that. The beachfront was really cold and surprisingly dead especially since it was the opening weekend for the Durban beach festival so I made quick exits both times.

Sunday was a ripper, if you know me you know I love ice cream and wherever I go I must have ice cream so I was promised an ice cream after bowling and go-karting which is my official excuse for loosing in both because after both events I was always promised it later and I never got it! Talk about leading a donkey… I felt so cheated!

Anyhoo enough of my rambling for now, ill leave you’ll with sum words of inspiration…

“Live as though today is all you have. Live today free from sorrow, bother, anger, jealousy and malice. Seek forgiveness from your friends and live at peace. Live according to your reality without envisioning the ideal life. Accept life and adapt accordingly.

Tomorrow is yet to come and yesterday is gone forever. Grieving over the past and worrying about the future is a waste of the present! Contemplate and be thankful. Organise the hours of this day so that you make years out of minutes and months out of seconds.

Be happy and appreciate the beauty of this life… ‘Today is my only day’!”

Ain’t nothing gonna break my stride… well lets hope so otherwise goodbye cruel world!

Your favourite smartass,
Yusuf

JUST SO YOU KNOW WHO I AM...

I am an auditor (but I'm not bitter).
I don't wear a pocket protector.
I don't carry a calculator at all times, but I can use it without looking at the numbers.
I get psyched for business casual.
I carry a laptop, not because I think it's cool, but because I have to.
It's certainly not cool when you have to carry it across town in the middle of the summer...along with two other bags and a box of workpapers.

I have lots of paper cuts...not from regular paper, but ones that hurt from pockets and folders.
I have a desk, and I have a phone, but I'm never at either of them. I sit at a table meant for 4 with 8 other people.
I work with people everyday, but everyone thinks I have no social skills. They fail to realize that after talking to incompetent people throughout the day the last thing I want to do is talk to anyone!

I dream about financial statement presentation and proper timing of accruals.
I spend significant amounts of time waiting for others to do their job; and when they're done, it's still not right, even though they've been doing it for 10 years.

I know GAAP is crap...but it's the best thing we've got.
By God, if you ask me one more question about how to do your taxes, I might just rip your head off!!!!
I work overtime six months out of the year, and then get told to watch how much time I spend on my work. Then, I try not to spend too much time on my work, only to get told my bonus is based on overtime. Oh wait, we don't get bonuses!

I have an apartment, but it's really just a place to store my clothes and old workpapers that the garbage men won't even take.

I can cook, but I can't remember the last time I came home and wanted to.
I'm just a person who went to school for way too long, who is overworked, and underpaid, who gets no respect for my work, and has finally realized that my entire career is based on providing information no one understands, to people who couldn't care less.

I can drink better than anyone. Is it any wonder why? I've been promoted six times in the last two years, not because I'm competent but because all the competent people had the smarts to leave.

My name is YUSUF DESAI and I am.... an auditor!!!

JoE'S JOURNAL EPISODE 4

Hey Peeps,

So this is what happened in the recent past... I got stuck on campus... i got sick... still am for those interested.

Anyways apart from that the week was really cool i suppose, I went to a book signing session which was a new and different experience for me, I managed to complete most of my work in time and produce the quality that i'm reknowned for, I even had time to go and see Oceans 13! As fo my soccer team, The Spartans, we also had one of our greatest victories on friday thumping our opposition with a great display of sheer skill and class playing football of the highest quality!And so all in all i guess not too shabby ey nige... lol!

The book signing session was by some famous children's author Anthony Horrowitz (Hope i got that right!) who was actually quite funny and entertaining... Isn't it amazing that all authors always seem to have quite lively imaginations hey? Anyways i felt like a kid after that so i had to go have the one thing in the world that make me feel a little more grown up... WAFFLES!!!

Oceans 13 was a nice movie, much better than 12... but the more important discovery i made while at the movies ws that i probably watch too many movies since i literally saw every movie that's currently out on circuit!

And lastly, for the sports fans out there... what a fantastic weekend we had!

- South Africa winning the tri nations clash with the aussies the way they did showing guts and determination in preserving australia's winless streak in south africa which stretches back 7 years!

- The formula one with Alonso vs Hamilton bringing back memories of the old great rivalry of Senna and Prost. And while we are on the topic of cars this is the Alpha i saw at pavillion on the weekend... ill do anything to have one!!!

- And if you missed out on the final round of the la liga, you truly missed out! The league that nobody wanted to win was eventually won by Real Madrid, on wins! That's right, points were tied at 76 between barca and madrid!

Your ailing once former great specimen of the human being,

Yusuf

JoE's JOURNAL EPISODE 3

Hey Peeps,

It's been a long and frustrating week and yet again your favourite superhero comes up trumps!I've been away from home most of the time this week basically living as if i were boarding there.

The following picture was taken one of the nights out with my friends. A true moment of inspiration i say!

Oh if you saw my google post (see below), the other discovery i made is that my blog is the 3rd item on the search list.So the new goal is to get it up to numero uno. So my loyal peeps do whatever it is you do and make it happen for me!

Your friendly neighbourhood spiderman,

Yusuf

GOOGLE LOL...

So this is what happened... i decided to google myself... aparently i made a movie... check it out ant let me know what you think...

JoE's JOURNAL EPISODE 2

Hey Peeps,

It's that time of the week again, part 2 of this wonderfully absorbing narrative that is my life... I think somebody should actually write a book about me and all my experiences. Anyways it's been a really really hectic working week for me at the office finishing late because of the amnesty's and trying to have a social life aswell. I'm alive and it's friday so i guess that makes me living proof that miracles do happen!

The picture below is the licence disk sticker in my car. I think it's cute... tell me what you think...

Till the next time, Have a great weekend...

Yusuf

WHICH SUPERHERO AM I?

I came across this cool test during one of my net surfing escapades... try it out for yourself. I know alot of people who are saying "i told you so" right now!

You are Spider-Man

You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility.

Spider-Man... 100%

Superman... 80%

The Flash... 70%

Green Lantern... 65%

Robin... 60%

Hulk... 55%

Supergirl... 50%

Batman... 40%

Wonder Woman... 40%

Iron Man... 40%

Catwoman... 30%

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

JoE'S JOURNAL EPISODE 1

Hey peeps,

Welcome to my journal, the forum in which i tell you stuff that you not necessarily want to hear but will read nonetheless because i make it so appealing!

Anyways, this was supposed to go off on wednesday (sorry ZoE) but due to our server being down, todays the day! This is the picture that was taken on photo day at the office. As usual the day you want to look the best is the day everything goes wrong! Please tell me what you think...

Talk about old and all grown up! Those who know me will tell you that's not me! :)

Till my next post,

Yusuf

THE RUGBY...

***This was originally posted by Yusuf but the poor dude couldnt get the pics in so i took it upon myself to help out***

Hey peeps,I went to the super 14 rugby final on saturday. Despite the disappointment of my team loosing in the closing seconds of the match, i had a great time and in the end south african rugby prevailed! We could not have asked for a more nail biting game.

By the way the pictures, the one is the view i had from my seat and erm... i didn't realise how funny the other looked till it was already taken!